1. My being hungry is directly proportional to how bored I am. Thus, the greater the ennui, the greater the likelihood of my eating an entire jar of cocktail olives at the kitchen bench.
2. I find my fingernails genuinely fascinating. It’s not just that I flick them for lack of anything else to do; I actually enjoy paying close scrutiny to their ruined contours. I have no idea why this is.
3. The way I roll my shoulders so that people can hear the crunching sound is psychologically identical to how I used to flip my double-jointed thumb and chase the others girls with it. Conclusion: part of me is now, and will be forever, five years old.
4. I have a secret desire to be 10 centimeters tall, so that I can ride people’s pets, climb into drawers, live in a dollhouse and wander randomly on strange desks.
5. I am neither religious nor a believer in magic. However, sometimes I still have to remind myself that science works, no matter how crazy particle analysis sounds.
6. From time to time, I contemplate seeing a psychologist just for the thrill of being told I’m well-adjusted. Strangely, were I given the opposite verdict, I’d find it just a bit thrilling.
7. As a kid, I copied certain behaviours from watching animals: scraping my foot like a horse when waiting impatiently, tilting my head to scratch my neck like a seal, stretching like a cat. I don’t think I’ve learned any new tricks as an adult, but I’ve never stopped doing the old ones.
8. During highschool, I divided up my personality traits into three categories, anthropomorphised each one, and gave them names. I still often think of myself in these terms.
9. Keeping a record of the books I’ve read makes me want to read more books, just for the sake of listing them.
10. Given the above, it seems increasingly unlikely that I’d come off as anything even vaguely resembling well-adjusted to a psychologst.
shattersnipe: malcontent & rainbows 