Posts Tagged ‘Grannygate’

As has been mentioned previously, I’m heartily sick of the media dubbing each new scandal a Blahgate. I’ve contained my rage at Troopergate, if only because it appeared to be an election-spawned one-off, but no. Now we have Auntiegate, with the revelation that Obama’s half-aunt (on his father’s side) is an illegal alien. I mean, Christ on a bicycle, Media – can’t you think up something original?

Wait. That was a stupid question.

We’ve had Iguanagate, which couldn’t be redeemed even by the wonderful, ludicrous phonics of the word ‘iguana’. We’ve had Gong-gate, wherein the entire Woollongong Council proved themselves unfit to govern a white elephant stall, let alone handle real cash-money. We’ve had Grannygate and NAFTA-gate. We have, in fact, had it up to here with gates, fences, walls, doors or perimeter-keeping objects of any kind.

More importantly – and I say this with feeling – Watergate was the name of a hotel, you ignorant bastards! It was a scandal that brought down the Presidency in an unprecedented fashion, not just an amalgam of popular controversy! Fall in a well and die!

OK. I’m calm again now.

Speaking as a concerned citizen, there’s a few issues I’d like to raise in light of recent media coverage.

1. Dear journalists: stop appending the word ‘gate’ to any vaguely scandalous story. Watergate brought down President Nixon, and in any case was named after the relevant hotel: calling John Della Bosca’s lunchtime foray into verbal abuse ‘Iguanagate’ is just plain stupid. Media, this isn’t your first offence. CNNNN’s Lunchgate should have got the point across. Remember: you’ve been warned.

2. An armpit fetish molester? Sweet Zombie Jesus, but I’d thought that parliamentarian Trey ‘Chair Sniffer’ Buswell was bad enough. This is taking the concept of olfactory stimuli just a smidge too far, I’d say: Glenn Quagmire is not a rolemodel.

3. Exploding planes are bad.

4. In a bid to maintain the ‘integrity of the academy organisation’, Katherine Heigl has pulled out of the running for an Emmy. Which is, y’know, noble and everything, but since when has integrity had anything to do with television awards? I’m just sayin’.

And, finally:

5. Angelina Jolie wants to go on The Muppets. Don’t we all?

TGIF, people!