Posts Tagged ‘Brisbane Times’

Yes, oh yes – it’s Friday and the Brisbane Times, that paragon of journalistic flair, is at it again. Behold today’s top stories:

1. Mother injects baby with faeces water

2. ‘Disrespectful son’ locked in room for 12 years

3. Glamour girl cops a serve

4. Marriage ‘won’t last six months’

5. Pregnant 11yo seeks abortion

Personally, I feel the devotion of multiple news articles to Maria Sharapova’s shirt marks a new low in reporting standards. To quote Xander of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame: and on the day the words ‘flimsy excuse’ were redefined, we sat and watched in awe.

Well, sat and read, anyway. You get the idea.

A new day dawns, and The Brisbane Times is with us again. Behold:

1. ‘We’re not gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that)’

2. Oral sex blamed for rise in throat cancer (still holding strong!)

3. Prince Charles pays off royal debt

4. Man intentionally jumped from plane without chute

5. 25% of New Yorkers have herpes: survey

And all is right with the universe.

I don’t know what it is about the Brisbane Times. Maybe being linked in to the Age and SMH website was too much for it; maybe it’s always been this way, and prominent online publication has merely made it obvious. Perhaps the Illawarra Mercury, God love it, has finally found a friend. But whatever the probable cause, the facts don’t alter: no matter what enterprises of great pitch and moment are afoot in the world, the top 5 stories in the Brisbane Times always involve murder, sex, scandal and disreputable teenagers – often in the one article.

Witness today’s offerings: while the Age and SMH show a respectable balance between media, IT, social commentary and politics, good ol’ Brisneyland presents the following headlines:

1. Oral sex blamed for rise in throat cancer

2. How did dead man kill his wife?

3. You banker! ‘Trainee bus driver’ busted

4. Cop ‘should be fired’ for allowing 13yo to marry

5. Condoms turn up heat in Antarctica

I’ve got no objections to trashy news (or newspapers, come to that). I just find it consistently funny that, regardless of what’s actually going on, the top BT articles are always dredged from the pits of scum and sexual entendre.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to enjoy the journalistic schardenfreude of salacious misery. Anyone got a Tim Tam?