I am so very tired, you guys.

I am tired, not of arguing in favour of equality, diversity and tolerance, but of having to explain, over and over and over again, why such arguments are still necessary, only to have my evidence casually dismissed by someone too oblivious to realise that their dismissal of the problem is itself a textbook example of the fucking problem. I am tired of being mocked by hypocrites who think that a single lazy counterexample is sufficient to debunk the fifteen detailed examples they demanded I produce before they’d even accept my point as a hypothetical, let alone valid, argument. I am tired of assholes who think that playing Devil’s advocate about an issue alien to their experience but of deep personal significance to their interlocutor makes them both intellectually superior and more rationally objective on the specious basis that being dispassionate is the same as being right (because if they can stay calm while savagely kicking your open wound, then clearly, you have no excuse for screaming). I am tired of seeing false equivalencies touted as proof positive of reverse sexism and racism by people who don’t understand that Lin punching Robin is not the same as Robin punching Lin if Robin is an adult pro-wrestler and Lin is a five-year-old child.

In short, I’m tired of being a female geek.

I am tired of hearing about sexual harassment and assault at conventions.

I am tired of the constant sexismracismbodyshamingharassment and belittlement faced by female cosplayers who are either deemed to be too pretty to be real geeks or not pretty enough to cosplay; who are exposed to racism and told hey’re asking to be sexually harassed by dint of wearing costumes that are overwhelmingly designed for male titillation.

I am tired of being told, either overtly or through oblivious privileged ramblings, that women make for bad writers; that we ruin genre with girl cooties, aren’t as good at proper literature, have no place in comics, shouldn’t play video games and make boring subjects in either case – which is why, whenever we do sit down and create stuff, we are reviewed less than menencouraged to adopt male pseudonyms, and frequently accosted with rape threats, death threats, bomb threats and graphic threats of pet mutilation (but then, that’s also how women are treated just for existing in the public eye). Also, we can’t review for shit – even commenting on geek culture can earn us rape threats – and if you happen to be a WOC, queer, trans, fat, disabled and/or anything other than straight, conventionally pretty and white, the amount of shit you’ll cop on a given day that intersects with of all this is astrofuckingnomical.

I am tired of watching the trainwreck of godawful sexist and racist fuckery that is mainstream comics right now; tired of hearing about the elision of LGBTQ characters and the unrepentant vitriol of misogynistic fans.

I am tired of whitewashing, not just on book coversbut in far too many cinema adaptationsnoseriouslyI could do this all daywhat the fuck is wrong with people.

I am tired of hearing, yet again, that women don’t game; that when we do, we suck because we’d rather be out “shopping, gossiping and talking on the phone”, and are only doing it to try and impress men anyway; that sexismsexual harassment and rape culture are acceptable within gaming; and on, and on, and on.

I am even tired of writing this post, because there are hundreds, literally hundreds more links in my folders on these sorts of problems just in SFF alone, and that’s before I start talking about these issues in a broader social context. I am tired of arguing with people who cannot be fucking bothered to do the research, where “research” means “typing literally three fucking words into Google and reading what comes up”, and who instead leave angry, page-long rants in the comments any time they see someone make a reasonable fucking claim – like, for instance, that sexism still exists – without providing umpteen links to support that statement, even though spewing their poorly-reasoned vitriol all over the internet must take five times as long as actually looking that shit up to begin with.

I am so. fucking. tired.

But I am not giving up.

  1. Eva Caye says:

    You’re a rock star in my book! I wish I could magically make everyone see that you are the current avatar of Athena, but some people are so blind they drunkenly stumble among living humans, making up fantasies about windmills being giants, hoping they will be taken as nobles. How could they even comprehend a living goddess?

    • fozmeadows says:

      Thank you! 🙂

    • nomadzophiel says:

      “Current avatar of Athena” has a nice ring to it. If that’s even 1/4 true I’ll be a regular reader from now on. I would say I’m as tired of reading about this as you are of writing about it but what I’m really tired of is some people being so boneheaded as to create a problem that needs talking about in the first place.

  2. AK says:

    Reblogged this on A.K. Anderson | Science Fiction and Fantasy Author and commented:
    This is worth the read – and it’s a lot a lot of links.

  3. darkwriter67 says:

    Reblogged this on Illuminite Caliginosus.

  4. Reblogged this on Atheism, Music, and More… and commented:
    You need to read this. All of it. And then click the links. And then GET WITH THE PROGRAM AND HELP IT STOP!!!!!

  5. I understand the being tired. The other day I realized I’ve been having the same discussions/arguments since I was 13 (or younger). I’m now 46. I thought the world would have changed more by now. The kids I grew up with would have matured and be better as adults because they seemed to be learning and things looked like they were changing. Now I realize their kids (I was unable to have any) don’t seem to be any more enlightened except on LGBT issues. But I’m not giving up either. I’m just quieter than you.

  6. Clearly you not tired enough yet. Keep screaming and beating your head against the wall. Keep sword fighting that fart for all your worth. Hopefully one day you truly will be exhausted enough to stop screaming long enough to actually listen.

    • fozmeadows says:

      Thank you, random sexist asshat, for so succinctly proving my point.

      • And thank you for proving mine.

        • fozmeadows says:

          The only point you made was a demonstration of your own ignorance. So, yes.

          • You can’t hear because you won’t shut up. You won’t shut up because you can’t hear the actual message. Keep screaming. I can wait for you to be ready to listen.

            • fozmeadows says:

              Listen to what? Untutored misogyny from someone who lacks the ability to read and understand basic information?

              • Still screamning, let me know when you are ready to really listen.

                • fozmeadows says:

                  Listen, dude. You don’t seem to understand how arguing actually works, or that I’m allowing your comments through on sufferance. I can tell from your blog that you still believe in the fallacy of evopsych and a whole bunch of other fundamentally false ideas about gender; and contrary to how you like to self-describe, that makes you a raging sexist. You’ve decided for whatever reason to come to an established feminist blog and be condescending; what you haven’t done is read anything I’ve written, or, indeed, addressed any of my arguments, which to me suggests you’re incapable of forming an intelligent response when confronted with actual evidence. All you’ve done is make a bizarre analogy that likens your own position to farting and talk about how you like to hear women scream, which is hardly a ringing endorsement of your skillset. Go home and rethink your life choices; until you do, you’re banned from here, because I for one have better things to do with my time than indulge your delusions of relevance.

                  • peppie says:

                    he’s trolling. he just wants attention.

                    • td Whittle says:

                      Does it strike anyone else as bizarre that a person would blog anonymously about gender issues? It does me. Women are always women. We cannot be anonymous or neutral. We go out into the world everyday, as ourselves. Personally, I do not trust, listen to, or respect bloggers who hide behind their computers tossing out anonymous opinions for which no actual, living, breathing human being has to stand up and take account. How smugly you taunt our host here, when you could be happily hiding back at your own blog, behind a wall of cowardice. Call it what you will. It is cowardice, in my opinion (or trolling, if you will, but a rather chronic case of it).

    • Sandra says:

      I’m not screaming or yelling at you, but you are an asshat. The above poster wasn’t screaming or yelling, but listing item after item, of which you seem to have taken either to heart, or umbrage to.

      The poster has listened, year after year after year, of wash, rinse, repeat of blatant sexist, racist, homophobic commentary, recycled to the point of flogging the proverbial deceased equine.

      But you, in your infinite wisdom (yes, being sarcastic) are an asshat.

    • Team Oyeniyi says:

      Do you just surf the net looking for people to attack?

    • nomadzophiel says:

      If you’re tired of reading about it, work to fix the problem instead of silencing the people who bring it to your attention.

  7. Caine says:


    “Hopefully one day you truly will be exhausted enough to stop screaming long enough to actually listen.”

    Perhaps if you ever reach a point where you actually listen, the realization might hit that it’s not screaming you hear. It’s a choir of exhausted, hoarse whispers determined to reach those with the ability to think as well as engage in empathy.

    I expect you might do better with smaller words and concepts however, so here you go: you aren’t helping.

  8. Foz, you’re a rock star in my book and I’m never tired of you.

    • 1kaur says:

      I second that. However, I might replace rock star with Samurai wordsmith fighting fuedal mindsets, and one who will not rest despite her fatigue. Thank goodness.

  9. I don’t know why I am surprised when a dudebro always shows up in comments on such posts, and demands you listen when he so clearly is incapable of listening himself. Quite the double standard. This is the mentality that created the current government shutdown, though. We know this personality type. They get so tied into their own opinions that they are emotionally incapable of entertaining any challenge to those opinions. Emotional investment is the crux of their inflexibility. This “culture” they have is impoverished and small, but apparently they’ll defend it to the death rather than, you know, listen to “outsiders.”

    It’s very middle school. Most of us, most of the men I know, didn’t participate in that or they outgrew it. The digital arena seems to attract the worst of the worst, and our misogynistic, sexist society perpetuates and supports their delusions online and in meatspace. As “manly” as they think they are, they react very badly to being challenged, as any bully does. They hate and resent being exposed, they hate being told their entire worldview is abysmally wrong – and then they fight back by demanding the very thing they will not do. They demand we listen.

    No. That’s not how it works. In reality-land, when someone says “You are hurting me,” you apologize, and then you do the work to figure out how you are causing trouble. And you stop doing those things. The goal is toward a more balanced, nuanced, human world. Not a battling collection of feudal states, but an entire culture of cooperative individuals who understand that for one to be free, everyone must be free. This is the world of science fiction and fantasy fandom at its core, loving the future, the idealized, the potential. To surrender that ideal for small-mindedness is to give up the reality upon which science fiction is built. That’s just sad. There is so much more! Why would you do that to yourself?

  10. […] I am so very tired. You guys, all the LINKS. I’m also tired. […]

  11. askmistywells says:

    This was such a powerful post and I’m sure one that rings true for a lot of people.

  12. Fi Fi Five Oh says:

    Your problem is you keep labelling yourself. *I’m a female geek*. What does it matter to me if you’re a geek or not, or a female for that matter. Is your opinion, yours or is it just a position you state to comply with some pre existing definition you plaster on your self because you need to feel you belong to something. Stop being a geek,s top being whatever you think a female is and just concentrate on your own stance and assessing your validity on one-to-one terms. And stop complaining and start doing!

    • fozmeadows says:

      Yeah, thanks. I’m 100% going to abandon both my gender and my passions because a stranger thinks that poorly-worded platitudes are a substitute for identity and that writing about a problem must necessarily mean I’m not doing anything about it. What a fucking joke.

    • Daz says:

      I don’t suppose you stopped to think that the problem might lie in what misogynists think a woman should be?

      No, you’re too busy telling victims not to be victims.

    • GeekMelange says:

      You know what? I’d love to just be treated as a geek w/o any thought given to my gender, but until all the crap that Foz listed in this entry stops – until I can walk into any comic store and not have the denizens stare at me like they’ve found a unicorn munching the potted plants because I’m a woman, until the “OMG, those girly elements like romance and character development and period costumes are RUINING MAH SCIFI!” comments are dismissed like the petulant whining it is as a matter of course, until I can walk around a con (whether in Slave Leia gear or white jumpsuit Leia gear or just plain old street clothes) without worrying that 1) some knuckle-dragger’s going to attempt to cop a feel/verbally harass me; 2) that I won’t get blamed in some way for it or have such behavior attempted to be excused; and 3) that a con will DO SOMETHING about that harassment; until people stop automatically questioning the authenticity of my enthusiasm for geeky fandoms and grasp of fandom knowledge just because I’m a woman; until all that shit and more stops?

      You can bet your damn booty that being a female and being a geek matter. A lot.

      Also, writing about this stuff? “Complaining” as you so derisively put it? How is that “not doing” anything? People are able to chew gum and walk at the same time – writing about these things on the internet (and writing WELL, as these entries reliably are), doesn’t preclude doing anything else away from the keyboard.

    • “Stop being whatever you think a female is?”

      So… stop being ME, then?

  13. […] I Am So Very Tired – Blogger and author Foz Meadows is tired of your shit. […]

  14. […] Foz Meadows is tired of fighting the good fight against misogyny and other forms of oppression in the speculative fiction community, but she’s not stopping. […]

  15. I just have no words to express how much this is true, except that I’d like to hire a plane and skywrite “YES! THIS! EXACTLY!” in vapour trail, with a giant arrow pointing to this post. Thank you.

  16. Yahong says:

    God, I know how you’re feeling. But I also know it’s so, so much worse than what I’ve felt because of the breadth of these topics you go into. So really, all I can say is: thank you so much for every single thing you’ve done, and God, I’m so sorry, and I wish we could do something to help you, to make you feel better, to change something, right now. From the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry that you’re so tired. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better.

  17. Eva Caye says:

    I’m going to be a little derivative, here. From a true diamond of a man, James Louis Butler III: “I long for a world where the poor are the 1% and even then, people try to do something about it.”

    Well, I long for a world where HALF the people don’t have to wake to fear, don’t have to take an hour to dress according to someone else’s standards, can speak to the other half without fear, have no need to ‘stand up for their rights’ because their rights are so ingrained that no one thinks to disregard them, and otherwise feel they contribute just as much to the health of the world as those who parade around declaring themselves the masters of their fates and the controllers of systems.

    • Eva Caye says:

      Recently on Upworthy was a photo of Tony Porter, and the quote read: “If it would destroy [a 12-year-old boy] to be called a girl, what are we then teaching him about girls?” That’s what this is all about, the fact that males are taught that females are so (fill in the blank), that to be compared to one is virtually an emotional and social death sentence.

      I do not write literature in which females must dress and act like males to be considered ‘strong’, though I do not mind women taking part in traditional ‘manly’ roles, not in the least! What concerns me is that so very many ‘strong women’ in real life (or ‘strong female characters’ in literature) seem to feel they must present themselves as ‘imitation men’. I love that gay men run the gamut, from butch to queen, acknowledging that they are men whether they ‘act butch’ or ’embrace femininity’.

      Although there are a number of creeps, I hold a lot of pity for men in the SFF field at this point, because it seems to me most of them feel terribly confused by ‘new standards’ and ‘new rules’, as if it will take them massive amounts of energy to ‘figure out’ how they are supposed to act towards women without causing chaos. Fer pity’s sake, try treating us like PEOPLE first, and if you cannot tell that a woman is interested in you as a man, then LEAVE IT AT THAT. I don’t know about other women, but any man I was ever interested in, I definitely let him know!

  18. Pk Scott says:

    Foz, don’t stop. The vicious sexism and trolling is the rear guard action in a war already lost. I have been a female “geek” science fiction fan for nearly all of my 60 years. I was such an outlier that I was only perceived as an oddity, not a threat. You and the legion of brave, intelligent, articulate young women like you ARE the future. You are “unobtanium” to those who would desire you as an object yet deny you your humanity. Keep kicking their asses and while your at it add a swift one for granny.

  19. Sophie DÁustralie says:

    We salute you!

  20. Cedar says:

    Is anyone else amused by the fact that the troll couldn’t come up with a better post than “NO U”? That’s it. That’s all he’s got. Just “you’re sexist for calling me a sexist!”, or possibly “a woman was mean to me once so your entire point is invalid!”. Hard to tell, because his counterargument was “NO U”.

    • fozmeadows says:

      What I find funniest is the fact that he still keeps trying to comment, even though I’ve clearly said, “Dude. You’re blocked.” (He shows up in my spam folder now.) It doesn’t speak well of his ability to understand basic statements, that’s for sure.

  21. […] I Am So Very Tired | foz meadows: “I am tired, not of arguing in favour of equality, diversity and tolerance, but of having to explain, over and over and over again, why such arguments are still necessary, only to have my evidence casually dismissed by someone too oblivious to realise that their dismissal of the problem is itself a textbook example of the fucking problem.” […]

  22. raincoaster says:

    Reblogged this on raincoaster and commented:
    Fuck that shit. Who dares can come at me by name.

  23. You rock my dear, you really rock. I am a 50 year old woman and have seen everything, no, when I say that inevitably a man comes along and shows me there is a lower level of hell they are capable of sinking to. And not just men, women often buy their shit hook line and sinker and agree with the sexual harassment and allow themselves to be pigeon-holed and excluded because of these arcane ideas and forms of harassment. But, I digress. I was a small child at a period of time when people stood up for themselves and fought and protested and got arrested fighting for things they believed were unjust and tried to make a better world. We somehow got away from that to the point we’re at now where our constitutional rights are being taken away, we are no longer free to enjoy a better life and we are more objectified and harassed as women than we were before then.
    We need women like you. We need women who see injustice, sexual harassment, inequality and body-shaming and call people on it. You rock on with your amazing self.

  24. Alannah says:

    Holy shit.

    First time I’ve ever heard of you, but you made me use all my feelings. Dammit.

    Seriously though. Privilege of every type – the assumption that there is a “right” way to be anything – is so. Fucking. DUMB.

    How’s about this – we celebrate and support and love each other. As long as you’re not doing anything that actually hurts me or treads upon human dignity, we’re good. Why is that SUCH A HARD CONCEPT for so many people to get? WHY do we feel driven to degrade other people in any way?


    That seems to be a hard concept for most. That other people are actually PEOPLE.

    Empathy seems to have died an unpleasant death.

    Anyways. Love the post.

  25. chewbobcca says:

    This was beautiful.

  26. eugenegm2 says:

    *slow clap* I have never read what you wrote put so perfectly. I am favoriting this, so that next time I get into this debate, I can recite it. Which is much better than my instant response, which is to pound them into the dirt with my fists. BTW, I like that even though the main theme here is sexism, you also mention other bigotry as well. Bravo. Bravo.

  27. AMM says:

    I see Lewis’s Law is still alive and kicking. Bummer.

    (My sympathies. Just reading about the stuff is tiring (and maddening) enough, and I’m not even the target of this cr*p.)

  28. Team Oyeniyi says:

    Reblogged this on Love versus Goliath : A Partner Visa Journey and commented:
    This is a great article about everyday treatment of women.

    Well worth the read with lots of supporting evidence via links. The discussion is great too.

  29. Moose says:

    Here via the GeekFeminism site. Cannot agree more. I’m tired of it all. I’m tired of being shouted down when I bring up sexism, racism, sizeism, or ableism. I’m tired of the “we shouldn’t have to cater to the minority” argument. I’m tired of hearing “You’re the only one who complains so clearly the problem is YOU.” Worst of all, I’m tired of hearing from women, usually younger women, who support the idea that there are no problems – women who have never been told, “Math and science are for boys, you don’t need that class”, or “We found someone else for the position who doesn’t need us to make accommodations” or “You’re a girl, you cannot be interested in *that*!”. Just because you’re lucky enough to not have it happen to you doesn’t mean it hasn’t happen or is still happening – or maybe you just can’t recognize it.

    I’m also sorry to see some of your responses call you a “rock star”. I really believe that is a term we need to stop using. Rock stars are, stereotypically, self-absorbed and stand-offish, who are difficult to deal with. Great people can be great without being “rock stars”.

  30. Neil says:

    So you want to live in a world where everyone agrees with you, never questions anything and knows your desires and thoughts without you telling them. This sounds exactly like a case I came across a few weeks ago, apparently some hot chick had demons in her vagina and after paying some guy $3000 he was able to successfully exorcise those demons out of her.

    • fozmeadows says:

      I’m letting this comment through for the sheer WTF value, but otherwise: BANNED AS FUCK.

    • nomadzophiel says:

      I am always amused at people who use “you want everyone to agree with you and never question” as an argument to prevent people from disagreeing with them and questioning.

      And if you’re going to get your vagina exorcised, please, please be safe. Make sure to have two priests present, one young, one old and do not under any circumstances eat pea soup prior to the procedure.

  31. Personally I would use diflucan for vagina demons, but chacun son goût…

  32. Ani J. Sharmin says:

    I’m tired of it, too, but I’m very grateful that you continue to write about these topics. ❤

  33. Amber Willburn says:

    This was so well written. Thank you. I had never heard about or experienced some of these mindsets. I had just never thought about it before, but you have opened my eyes, and I appreicate it.. Thank you for fighting. Thank you for writing. I hope this small win, a small victory of opening someone’s eyes to the fight, will give you a little encouragement in your fight.

  34. […] Foz Meadows is so very tired of writing about systemic prejudicial bias towards women and other repressed […]

  35. ghost says:

    One male counterpart that agrees with your article and your position 100%

  36. […] I Am So Very Tired [article] – For any woman, nerd or otherwise, who is sick and tired of having to state her case for being allowed to exist in traditional male-dominated spaces without being harassed or objectified, over and over again, online and offline, patiently wading through the same fucking prosaic, flawed and harmful arguments for gender essentialists, harassment defenders and fucking devil’s advocates, then please have this cathartic rant from Foz Meadows. I love all of it, but especially this: ”I am tired of assholes who think that playing Devil’s advocate about an issue alien to their experience but of deep personal significance to their interlocutor makes them both intellectually superior and more rationally objective on the specious basis that being dispassionate is the same as being right (because if they can stay calm while savagely kicking your open wound, then clearly, you have no excuse for screaming)“ […]

  37. […] November 2, 2013: Don’t like what’s said on this post? Fine by me. But if you choose to mistake maturity for being “oblivious,” then there’s not much I can do to help you. I could go off on another rant, but I’ll […]

  38. Cirnez says:


  39. chocolatepie says:

    You are amazing, thank you. You don’t know how much it means to find these slivers of sanity when you’re surrounded by mainstream hatred and Devil’s advocating 24/7.

  40. amelia says:

    couldnt agree more with this post

  41. amani says:

    this is one of the best blogs about feminism that i’ve read, you said it all, the ugly truth that ignorant people should hear !
    i am tired too, especially living in the middle east where women have minimal rights, but we are not giving up until we are heard !

    hugs for you 🙂

  42. […] to engage with this, other than to say it’s the sort of privileged defensiveness that is just deeply tiresome. The “is Walter Benn Michaels a racist?” question also serves to individualize the […]

  43. Charles Mayo says:

    My friend shared your link, I haven’t even bothered to find out who you are but what you said is so obvious and true. Speaking as a black geek in his 40’s it all gets so old.

  44. Phill Evans says:

    Dont give up. Some of us listen and hold our responsibility, some of us question and yes even change our behaviour. And those of us who do take the arguments we heard and the truths we learned and teach them to our sons or put them to our dumbass friends. But to even realise change is desirable, let alone needed, we need to hear the arguments you give and see our boorish behaviour reflected through the prism of your perspective. Prisms break complex things in to simple, unarguable things which have to be accepted as truth. So please, don’t give up.

  45. ThirteenthLetter says:

    Your problem is that you’re writing for the Huffington Post. Knowing that you’re working for some of the folks who’ve done so much to destroy modern journalism would wear anybody down. Throw them off! Abandon the clickbait articles, centrally directed propaganda, and top ten sideboob photo lists! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

  46. […] truth she opened me up to a world of discrimination that I only knew a little about. You can read her work here. I recommend […]

  47. Ampersand says:

    Reading this post reminded me of a cartoon I drew, which you might enjoy: http://leftycartoons.com/the-modern-sisyphus/

    In any case, thanks for writing and sharing such a great post.

  48. […] Meadows from “I Am So Very Tired” in shattersnipe: malcontent & rainbows October 4, […]

  49. milla says:

    Thank you for this, really

  50. Alyssa says:

    You are my hero!

  51. Reblogged this on and commented:
    I was literally typing up almost the exact same article when a friend posted this. I couldn’t have said it better, so read it for yourself:

  52. I JUST had one of those “debates” today and I actually told the guy just to go away, I’d heard it all before and I wasn’t interested in hearing his side of the story. He lost his mind. I’m sure he doesnt get the irony at all…

  53. I was bummed out by your article. Until your last sentence.
    Right on! Don’t give up.

  54. neurion says:

    As a male, of the few female geeks I have known, I think that many of them can sympathize with you and women in general. I have you know that my wife is female geek and I love her very much! On a different note, I too am a geek and I get frustrated with how fellow male geeks treat their female counterparts. My wife has told me about how she sometimes feels ashamed and often hides her “geekiness” from men and sometimes (not on purpose) hides it from me. I think it is sad and my fellow men should make more of an effort to prevent women like this author or my wife from getting frustrated or ashamed of what they are! Don’t give up!

  55. […] positive and progressive force our community claims to be. It's terribly frustrating and sometimes downright soul-crushing to see how easily some corners of the geek world fall into discriminatory exclusion, an […]

  56. […] men in fandom and people of color in fandom, and QUILTBAG folks in fandom, all calmly (and, ok, not so calmly, but with great passion and eloquence) are all saying “Dude, that made my […]

  57. […] an environment not all that welcoming knows how quickly fighting to open that door can become too tiring to continue, and your best option is to […]

  58. […] have written and spoken with much more eloquence on oppression and the complex role of the white male ally than I ever could (indeed, these links all […]

  59. […] – Foz Meadows, I Am So Very Tired. […]

  60. I totally, completely sympathize with this statement – “only to have my evidence casually dismissed by someone too oblivious to realise that their dismissal of the problem is itself a textbook example of the fucking problem.”

  61. […] was right or wrong – shouldn’t fall to the side that is the most objective. As Foz Meadows stated, “I am tired of assholes who think… that being dispassionate is the same as being right […]

  62. Tamara Ryder says:

    The Devil’s Advocate thing. Yes, yes, YES! I have more than once found myself involved in “intellectual” conversations about whether or not sex offenders should really be persecuted for life and never trusted around their preferred victims. The people who step in to advocate on behalf of these hypothetical monsters have never, I guarantee you, personally known or been a victim of rape, molestation, or assault. For them it is just another conversation that makes them feel sophisticated because they’re discussing real social issues rather than what was on TV last night. But for someone who has seen up close and personal what it means to be a victim of such violation, how it changes your life forever, such conversations are never hypothetical. Every time you hear the word rape, you are right back where you never wanted to be. These arrogant Devil’s Advocates do not understand that they are stealing from you your only comfort – the knowledge that civilized society sympathizes with you, that the perpetrators of these atrocities are punished. Being dispassionate is never the same as being right. How dare you voice an opinion on an issue you don’t actually care about? Intellect is not a toy to help stave off boredom. It is a tool to help us build a just and compassionate society. You use a hammer to build a boat, not to knock holes in the side of the boat you already have.

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