Look: I have issues with the whole high school thing.
These issues are wide-ranging. They involve mundane, unintelligent and generally backward curricula, antiquated teaching methodologies, the negligent pay scales for teachers, the lack of reward and prestige for education as a profession, the bastardisation of learning into something that is neither relevant to grades nor recommended that teachers embrace in their own lives, the structure of a system that creates year levels on the basis of age rather than ability, the general social malaise of throwing a whole bunch of teenagers in the same deep pool and yelling SWIM!, the generational incomprehension of techonological and social media as an advanced medium of bullying –
OK. I could go on.
You get that.
But here’s the thing:
High school fucking sucks, man.
We all know it.
Every teenager knows it.
Most adults with actual memories of their high school years, no matter how rosy-lensed, can acknowledge it.
And yet our ability to change that system? Even in the smallest ways?
Is seemingly non-existent.
I have cared about the shitness of high school since I was thirteen. That was eleven damn years ago, and I am still howling into a void. In abstract, it should help my case that so many things are so obviously wrong with the system. In the Land of Government and Educational Bureaucracy, however, that’s actually a massive hindrance, because in a society where ripping a major institution down, salting the earth and building afresh is less an option than it is political suicide, there’s no obvious starting point for reform.
And so people do next to nothing.
Because it’s easy.
Because there’s no viable mechanism in place for doing more.
Because optimism with regard to educational reform is seen as naivety.
Because making things better is too fucking hard.
Well, you know what? I’m sick of that excuse.
I am sick of people whose jobs it supposedly is to support and create a culture of knowledge saying that teenagers and their problems are just too hard; that poverty, cruetly, violence and bullying are just too hard; that creating curricula that are relevant, engaging and intelligent is just too hard; that basically doing anything with anyone between the ages of twelve and nineteen that might be of any use to their future selves or lives beyond the most basic social interactions, arithmetic and language skills – and sometimes not even that – is too hard; that spending money on schools and technology is too hard; that talking to actual teenagers about the circumstances of their education is not only too hard, but impossible, because they can’t be trusted to tell the truth, and everyone knows they just hate high school anyway.
Well, here’s a goddam radical thought: maybe high school is worth hating.
I am sick of homophobia and bullying.
I am sick of a system that seems to be based entirely on Lord of the Flies being a valid basis for social hierarchy.
Years of insomnia. Years of random cruetly, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, violence and ignorance. Years of hearing that at some point, every bright, funny, clever or caring person of my acquaintence had been found in the garage with a noose around their neck, standing on a chair and trying to knock themselves out by sniffing petrol fumes so they wouldn’t feel their hyoid break, or cutting themselves with scissors because it was the only sort of pain they could control, or drinking themselves insensible and weeping on school nights because they couldn’t function otherwise, or taking pills and curling up in the dark like Sylvia Plath, or walking along the edge of cliffs and daring themselves to jump off, or burrowing down inside themselves because it hurt like fury, like glass in the heart, and even the other downtrodden would mock them as protection against further mockery themselves. Years of waking up with less right to sick days than an underpaid temp worker, struggling through depression, illness, fear and uncertainty because you’d get a black mark if you dared show up without a doctor’s certificate, and nobody there to point out that colleges don’t give a flying fuck for your attendance record; that at the end of the day, it’s just a piece of laminated cardboard your parents keep in the attic, and not the be-all, end-all of your academic existence.
No. Fuck that noise, and fuck it sideways.
High school students of the world: you are not prisoners. You are not stupid. You have rights. You have opinions. You know what you feel. The rest of us have either forgotten or are in the process of forgetting, because where you are now? It’s about survival. Once you’re out of the jungle, you don’t go wading back in to fight the tigers and tame the lantana. But that’s why those things persist. You get out, and you’re safe, so you forget. You see the little tweaks and changes on the news, and you forget how bad it really was. You grow up. You start to doubt your teenage intelligence. You wonder if it was just because you were seventeen and an idiot that you hated your creepy geography teacher, the one who knocked the girls’ pens off their desks so he could peek down their shirts when they bent over to pick them up, or that you couldn’t find any practical or intellectual application for what you were asked to do, or that nobody would listen to you or had the power to do anything when you told them you were depressed or being bullied.
Fuck that.
Speak up.
Speak up, because your voices are the ones that matter.
All the debate about schools, about curricula, about subjects and bullying and sex and homophobia and ignorance and bad teaching – all of it affects you. More than anyone else, it affects you. But you are being left out, because you are students, and cannot be trusted to have intelligent opinions. Like prisoners, it is assumed that your sole goal is escape. Let’s slide right by the point where that comparison means many adults subconsciously think of schools and jails as being fundamentally the same, necessary-but-evil types of correctional institution. Yes, lots of teenagers are wankers. I know it, and so do you! If that weren’t true, then bullying wouldn’t be a problem. We would live in a candy-cane world of pixies and chocolate, and ride unicorns to school. Being a teenager doesn’t make you automatically right, either. We’re all still learning about life, after all. Personally, I maintain that any person who thinks they’ve reached a point where learning has become optional is (a) deluded and (b) most probably (see above) a wanker.
But here’s the secret: a lot of adults are wankers and/or wrong, too, and many of them have forgotten what it’s like to be a teenager. Perhaps more importantly, they have never had your teenage experience, and are therefore categorically unable to learn from it. There are also good adults in the world – adults who care, and try, and are nonetheless thwarted by a system that desires they do neither – and those adults deserve to be rewarded. But that cannot happen unless you stand up and make your opinions known.
So: right here, right now. Stand up.
This is what the internet is for.
Read. Learn. Protest. Rebel. Think. Question. Argue. Care.
The future is yours, and unless you do something about it? Continued suckage is a definite option.
Be clever. Be subervise. Be creative.
Fight back.
Not on their terms.
But on yours.
And win.
Sometimes I think I was the only person in the world who didn’t hate high school. Sure, I had my share of bullies and bad teachers but I also had friends and good teachers and everyone seemed pretty good natured to me(except the bullies of course) with no cliquey fighting.
What a great post. Thanks for writing this.
I hated school. Didn’t matter which year – from 0 to 12 I hated it. And it messed with me in lots of ways that linger in my life today.
But over the years I’ve learnt three things about people’s school experiences:
1. It depends on the school. I’ve met quite a few people who as kids were even bigger bully targets etc than me and yet it just didn’t happen at their school.
2. It depends on the coping mechanisms you get taught. The people I know who survived bullying etc largely unscathed into adulthood had picked up amazing coping mechanisms from family.
3. If you’re a freak like I was, as opposed to just a bright gifted student, then you will cop it because of pure group dynamics. And that doesn’t stop with the end of school.
But naturally this is something we’ll all see through the prism of our own experiences. And it’s awful how many of us carry the scars.
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