Speaking as a concerned citizen, there’s a few issues I’d like to raise in light of recent media coverage.
1. Dear journalists: stop appending the word ‘gate’ to any vaguely scandalous story. Watergate brought down President Nixon, and in any case was named after the relevant hotel: calling John Della Bosca’s lunchtime foray into verbal abuse ‘Iguanagate’ is just plain stupid. Media, this isn’t your first offence. CNNNN’s Lunchgate should have got the point across. Remember: you’ve been warned.
2. An armpit fetish molester? Sweet Zombie Jesus, but I’d thought that parliamentarian Trey ‘Chair Sniffer’ Buswell was bad enough. This is taking the concept of olfactory stimuli just a smidge too far, I’d say: Glenn Quagmire is not a rolemodel.
4. In a bid to maintain the ‘integrity of the academy organisation’, Katherine Heigl has pulled out of the running for an Emmy. Which is, y’know, noble and everything, but since when has integrity had anything to do with television awards? I’m just sayin’.
5. Angelina Jolie wants to go on The Muppets. Don’t we all?